A Short Guide to Naaaaaaridge…
February 21st, 2007A short guide to the city I’ve come to call home.
History
Norwich (pronounced Naaaaaaridge) in the southeast of England was invented in 1923 and is kept in Norfolk where it has lived for the past 83 years.
Norwich (pronounced Naaaaaaridge) in the southeast of England was invented in 1923 and is kept in Norfolk where it has lived for the past 83 years.
Norwich has a population of approximately 2500 of which 2438 are related to each other and the rest are classed as Furriners who have decided to settle in Norwich from beyond the great Horizon.
Many people still believe that if you travel past Thetford (The Great Horizon) you will fall off the edge of the world and be devoured by DELIA the Great Star Goat.
Norwich was built by Nicholas Parsons, a man of the cloth for somewhere to keep his racing pigeons. The project, however, soon grew and rapidly became a sprawling city filled with “Pointless Super Heroes”. These Include: (if you’re from Norwich you WILL know these people!!)
THE PUPPET MAN
Special Ability: Hypno-puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd’s. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to “give something back to the people”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIbYUBbTqMg
Special Ability: Hypno-puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd’s. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to “give something back to the people”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIbYUBbTqMg
FLUTE MAN
Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.
Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.
BAG WOMAN
Special Ability: Knockout BO Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of various, mysterious bags.
Special Ability: Knockout BO Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of various, mysterious bags.
MARIGOLD
Special Ability: Traffic Direction Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a fluorescent jacket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Norwich Union Insurance Department.
Special Ability: Traffic Direction Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a fluorescent jacket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Norwich Union Insurance Department.
THE INCREDIBLE MARKET TWINS
Special Ability: Flower Selling although conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.
Special Ability: Flower Selling although conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.
RADIO MAN
This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he’s a wannabe commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970’s transistor radio glued to one ear, you’ve gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big ‘D’ department store.
This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he’s a wannabe commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970’s transistor radio glued to one ear, you’ve gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big ‘D’ department store.
Vocabulary
Here are some useful Norwich phrases and words:
Here are some useful Norwich phrases and words:
- Naarigde Yoonyun - Major Norfolk and Sri-Lankan employer
- Thang Kyer - Spoken at high speed, used by Norfolk shop assistants when accepting money.
- How’re yer getting arn buh? - Norfolk greeting
- Rup Bah - Variation on the above
- Hair - Here
- Shicagoo’s - Nightspot on Prince of Wales Road, Norwich
- Bare - Sold by the pint in Shicagoo’s
- Is that roight? - Comment to show that attention is being paid to the speaker
- Ass a Jook - I’m just kidding
- Khazi - Suburb on the western edge of Narridge
- Tross - Suburb on the southside of Narridge
- Windam - Small town south of Narridge (Sensible abbreviation of it’s proper name : Wymundimunidundim)
- Loose-tarfed - East coast fishing port
- Card - Traditionally eaten with chips, might well have been caught off Loose-tarfed
- KooDee - Discount shop at the top of St Stephens, Norwich
- Hum Base - DIY store
- Fooze - Electrical component on sale at Hum Base
- Fool - Petrol or Diesel
- Drive you steady bor - please drive with more care
- Gu tehec buh - my, how surprising
- Stoop ud - Term applied to very silly people
- Gatoo - Sticky chocolate cake
- Foo too or Fota - Get these developed at Boots
- Sproight - Fizzy lemon drink
- Boost - To Brag about ones achievements
- Jargon - Like running, but at a more leisurely pace
- Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Morning
- Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Afternoon
- Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Evening
- Hay ya gittin arn tagether? - Hello
- Yow siller owld fule - Comment made to someone displaying “backward” tendancies
- How fer ar ya doin’ bor? - How are you?
- Loight arse - Lighthouse
- Haysbra (Happisburgh) – Coastal village with a loight arse
- Hunstan (Hunstanton) – Coastal village
- Furriners - People who come from anywhere outside of Thetford
- Thas a rumman - Not quite up to scratch
- Blast Bor, yow git a ding-a-tha-lug - I’m going to hit you now
- Fare t’ middlin - I’m doing quite well
- Bishy Barny Bee - A Ladybird
- Thas a Bit on the Huh - That’s a bit wonky/uneven
- Traa’er - a farming vehicle
- Dicka - horse
- Ha’ yer farver gorra dicka, bor? - does your father own a horse
- Cumbine airvista - an agricultural vehicle
- Carra rud - a place where narj people go to watch their football team lose
- Ur day - to day
- Wot yoo up to urday - what are you doing today
- Ouver hair / ouver ere - im over here
- I / yoo/ ee/ shee gooo - i/ you / hee/ she went to/ goes to
- Ci’ee - as in naaarch ci’ee a place for shopping
- Noo idare - no idea/ don’t know
- Gunna - going to
- Lully ole jarb (Lovely old job) - Excellent